Each week, our #StageDoorLive News Writer / Researcher Hillary Dziminski chronicles her interaction with the news of the week. Some of it that made it to the show, and other bits that didn’t… but they matter damn it. Watch the news that did make it in #StageDoorLive Episode Five.
Well fancy seeing you here! How are you? You come here often? How’s your week been?
I hope it’s been slightly above average at the very least; I’ve learned it’s important to moderate expectations during a pandemic. For example: it’s 1:00 AM, you’ve stayed up too late watching your 108th episode of ‘Modern Family’ and your eyes are finally starting to droop. You close your browser, shut off the light, and snuggle in; you expect to get 7 – 9 hours of restful, uninterrupted sleep but THIS IS A MISTAKE. In three hours, your cat will wake you up, wanting to be fed; this will alert you to the fact that you need to pee, which you’ll do and then you’ll go back to bed but then an hour later he will wake you up again by bringing a live starling into your bed!
I did not invite you in here, sir!
The lesson here is manage your expectations. Be realistic. And you will not be disappointed. The other lesson is get rid of all of your material possessions — they provide very good hiding places for birds. Set it all on fire, my children.
Anyway. Let’s go on an adventure through some of my favorite headlines. Spoiler alert: I’m keeping it light this week.
Okay in the interest of transparency, I still haven’t watched ‘Normal People’. Don’t get me wrong — I want to. I do. But I’m on season 5 of ‘Modern Family’ and there’s no turning back now.[Side note: I could not make this up if I tried — I just had to pause my blog writing to go outside and pull another starling out of my cat’s mouth. God help me.]
This headline really tickled me. Wasn’t it just last week that I was praising the general response to the sexual content of the show? Not that I would consider this one random bishop to be representative of the general public, but I digress. My favorite quote from this story is:
‘Showing a grown man fully naked on TV. It would offend any right-minded human being. Young teenagers will be watching this, even married couples in their own homes.’
Even married couples. In their own homes. ….Would it be acceptable for said consenting adult couples to see a fully nude man…outside of their own homes?
Full frontal nudity not scandalous enough for your taste? How about some murder? Now I, like many other stir-crazy quarantiners, have been doing a lot of gardening as a form of free therapy. And my housemate and I did find some ancient Molotov cocktails under a very overgrown bush (no kidding, we had to call the police for safe disposal). But a FEMUR? A HUMAN FEMUR?! That is some next level shit right there, y’all. Stuart himself tells the full story in this video — check it out.
Okay now this blog is really starting to feel like a Nicolas Cage movie with archbishops and bones and now art heists! Okay not exactly an art heist, but this is really excellent news and it’s great to see countries working together to crack down on art traffickers. Now I hope that the items recovered — which include weapons, coins, and fossils (oh my!) — are returned to their countries of origin wherever possible and not just displayed as colonialistic trophies in galleries and museums that are already oversaturated with artefacts that don’t belong to them and never did. [/endrant]
Now some of you may know that I am not a sports person and as such, I really don’t get much out of the Olympics (with the exception of pairs figure skating and ice dancing, because if you can’t enjoy that then you are dead inside). But I know that many many people were disappointed by the cancellation of this year’s Tokyo Olympics, and it’s looking like the International Olympic Committee is confident that the rescheduled games will definitely go ahead next year.
But if you can’t wait that long, check out the Tik Tok Olympics! They’re GOLD. In this episode of Some Good News with John Krasinski, he also highlighted one family’s incredible ‘Wicked’ themed stunt. As someone who breaks into song at any given opportunity, I am green with envy. (Green. Get it?)
So that’s all from me for this week. I’ll be lounging around my skeleton-free garden, getting a sunburn and triggering my hay fever if you need anything.